Be independent of the good opinion of others

If you actually listen to all of the chatter in your brain, you would find an alarming amount of your thoughts are related to what others think of you. Someone gives you a glance or look and your mind begins racing to figure out what they must be thinking. Too often, you associate negative thoughts to these moments.

In all actuality, most the time, you don’t have any idea what someone else is actually thinking about you. You make it up in your mind and attribute it to them. I had a saying growing up, “if you are going to make up shit, makeup shit you like.” How different would you live your life if you assumed most of the thoughts others have about you were positive?

Until someone actually tells you their thoughts, you are only guessing. And while you might think someone is judging you, often they are just noticing you. If you trip as you’re walking, some people may notice and giggle. Some people may think you are clumsy while others may think you are adjusting to a new pair of shoes. Their thoughts are just that, theirs.

They rarely are judging you. They may just notice you. Minutes or even hours later, they have probably forgotten. If someone does judge you, they are only using their filter that they’ve been taught growing up. That doesn’t mean their filter is superior or their thought of you is any more important. It just means they have a filter and they are applying it to you or the situation.

What a stranger thinks about you is actually none of your business. People are free to have any thought they would like, and you are free to not care.

Don’t get me wrong, I care what my wife, my daughters, some of my family and even some friends think about me. But a stranger, I honestly do not care.

As Stephen Covey says, “be independent of the good opinion of others.” I learned this quote a decade ago and it has served me well. I don’t need to judge anyone else’s thoughts of me. I just need to assume the best, focus on what I think of myself and go about my life making people happy, taking care of my health and my family and having fun. I wish the same for you and know that whatever you choose, I will not judge you J